31/01/2010

i see history repeating itself again... now im asking her to come back to me, just like what i did to tse ing last time... but at least, she isnt as unreasonable as tse ing, she say still can go out...

arg... mind block again... -_- guess i'll update tmr morning b4 i go work

Im still missing you... T_T

emo the whole day yester day and.. when i sleep, i had this dream that she sms me telling me she had a new bf... and i got so scared it really happen... but i suppose its time to let go cos no hope liao.. but anw, grats, she got what she wanted - to be heartless, but im still missing her, i see her smiling everytime i close my eyes... some1 help me pls?

Depressed day...

as usual, i cant sleep last night... ;sigh... today i woke up late and was late for work, so i skip brkfast... then went to work and started off quite smoothly cos there's no more panty to fold (yay~) but then polo tee came in (-_-)... then just open up, pluck out old tag, and put in new tag using some sort of gun thingy... because i didnt get enuff rest, i keep shooting my finger using the gun (-_- which... was pain cos the tip is sharp), then when i seal up the box, i nearly fell down cos i feel so blur... nvm, after i seal up, i forgot what i put inside -_- then nid reopen the box and check again...

-lunch time-
sms darling and eat wanton mee + mee ($3) then eat finish went back to fill in timesheet and got a friend to send for me cos this stupid company dun have fax machine (wth).. then ard 2.43, darling sms me and say she got conned (which i saw at ard 4+ i think) and when i asked what happen, she said "err.. nvm" so i got worried and i made more mistake, and i cont packing clothes lor... then went for coffee break at 4.15, i used 2 packet of coffee cos i nid to tahan till 8 ma.... then got 1 aunty see then make a big fuss out of it and complain to the supervisor WHICH HE GLARE AT ME AND LECTURE ME (wtf lor... its just coffee ffs) then i told him straight in the face... coffee i add liao, what u wan me do? the most tmr i buy 1 big pack pay back lor... -_- then i finish my coffee and went back to work...
Ard 6+ (where the hell started) ard 12 box of polo tee came in and worse still... my partner got "poached" by those aunty -_- and im left to do those 12 box alone and because i do alone, the speed slow down and some fked up supervisor came and scold me for being slow (think he bear grudge, but nvm la...) so i got more stressed and try to work faster lor... and endure the pain when the gun shot my finger (cos i want it to be fast and nvr aim properly)... i chiong till 7+ he came and scold again, this is when i feel so depressed, i went to toilet and cry in the cubicle... i simply cannot take it le... but i need the money for darling's bill and stuff... so just cry lor... cry finish i went back to work... then ard 7.30... i push myself so hard, i felt giddy and start to see dark patches (going to faint/black out soon i think) and the assistant supervisor saw me and ask me to go for smoke break ( which i just stand there to rest ), he offered me cig but i told him i only want the break not the cig... (lol!) and he gave me the wtf look... lol... but still ok la... the tot of getting my pay motivates me to keep working till end of work...

-reach home-
online awhile, check fb and saw darling online, but she say she's nt in the mood so i ask what happen, and she told me she got conned (like in the sms) and i asked why? then she start to blame herself (think she need to cool down abit ba) and keep scolding guys like... all guys are fkers, con-ner(i think) and cheaters... and she wont trust guys again (but didnt she say im honest? -_-?) so now, im depressed, sad and emo... i sms her after she went offline and ask if she 2time me and the other guy cheated her and she said "ya" ... (no comments) but anw, i still forgive her ma... and i realise her msn dp is diff, so i did a quick check, she changed it on 22jan (which 21 i is our anni - dun think its linked though...) and cont to emo till now, gonna cry my eyes out once imh sleeps... and will be back once she cooled down... (no more dates tmr... and i looked foward to it.. ;sigh)

darling, i know u can see this, but please, trust me k? i didnt cheat on u, never will... and i assure u, i'll try my best to make u happy always... ILY <3

;hurt

This is the post for yesterday:
woke up and ate maggi for brkfast and felt like a zombie cos i cant slp for the past few nights... -_- but anw, looked foward to working as the though of getting paid kept me motivated and nothing much happened ba... just work work and crap as usual... and i worked OT till 8pm... that's like... 10 hours of panty folding x.x my wings already got bruise already... but nvm, on my way home, i saw my old group of monster hunter friend, so i sit down and have a chat with them, then forget abt time, next thing i knw, its 11pm liao (time fly when yr enjoying eh?) and went home and bath, then msn abit and attended missy's wedding (they pass on 3rd try due to unable to sync - GRATS AUNTY VERON!!!!!)

Abandoned Toy

;sigh.... idk what happen, bean no mood, darling dun wan talk to me -_- suddenly feel so... so very lonely... but nvm ba... they got their own prob... guess im just too nosey and annoying for them le... i'll change... -_- i'll try nt to bother abt other ppl other than myself... when i show concern to other ppl, they think im kaypoh.. fine lor, i mind my own business, every1 happy lidat...

then just now when i super moody and emo cos no1 entertain me, that fktard keep spamming my fone and send threat sms -_- like i care lidat _|_ nt happy spam all u wan, i knw u can fking read this... idc, im not longer a kid liao, dont come and play this kind of game with me... -_-

and ya... i felt neglected for the whole of today...i know every1 got their own prob... but, ya, i also got my own problem as well, when i smile or joke with some1 doesnt mean that im happy...

Hmmmm~

Today i whole day packing panties (hush puppy brand for kids), pack till hand bleed -_-, nvm, when i use penknife wan open a whole in the plastic, i was 1/2 asleep cos last night nvr sleep so guess what? i use the penknife and poke my hand instead of the plastic... heng i nvr use alot of str or it will be the end... then after work come back home audi... wa, i tell u, the feeling... damn horrid... its like sleep-walking+ playing audi, cant even focus at all... then rp still angry (abt what idk) and darling nvr talk to me much D: then after rp left, darling made rm and we 2 just play lor... whole game, we talk less than 1 sentence each... and she say she's nt angry with me... so nvm lor... then suddenly she pm fail and i saw "summore?  which means.. she pming ppl... but what they pming abt? hw come she like bad mood + the somemore thing? ;sigh just wished that i can help in any way i can lor... but guess she still dun really trust me with her personal problems yet... o well... tmr is gonna be a horrid day, guess i gonna take care of myself first... i suddenly rmb, ez link left $4+ (means 1 ride left...), wallet empty (*clap clap*) which means!!! - tmr no lunch AND i gotta walk home from bukit batok... guess its a good training for ns ba... i tried to borrow from few ppl that im closer to ... all they say was... i check with u later.. (dun wan just say dun wan, dun waste my time!) then no choice... im forced to borrow from this old subway friend... (she's gullible but she got kind heart and i owe her $200 liao -_- ) then request to borrow 40 and she offer me 50... just hope that its nt too late ba...  back to audi ^^

-_-

gosh, last night i totally never sleep dao.. all i do was toss and turn ard the bed and next thing i know, its 7... wake up cook 1 maggi + hotdog for quick brkfast and when im done eating -_- stupid old man rush into toilet after msia tenant is done bathing and here i am~ blogging away while im gonna be late for 1st day of work... -_-
anw, wish me luck for my 1st day of work cos i seriously gonna need it... being late for 1st day of work? what a joke man... -_-

What's going on with me? T_T

Today and last night cant sleep, just keep rolling around in bed and keep worrying about something, tmr got new job and yet today i cant sleep... -_- anw, i got more impt things to worry about other than that unknown stuff that's making me depressed (which i really dk what's that -_- but feel depressed and scared somehow)

About Yesterday (monday):
fedex came and i brought the package over to her at tampines (;eeks fly so far just to deliever that hoodie) but in the train, i feel so... so horrible, its like there's some invisible preassure on me and i cant breathe at all, and sweating my way through out the journey, then passed to her and guess what's her return gift? ;make she bought me panadols!!~ (;eeks) for my cold and plain water.. then went out to take my med as she open the gift and when she saw it she's so happy, like a little kid who got new toy, took afew pics but dont think she will post or send me... on my way home, she send me a sweet message (1st time) and she didnt online audi even though i waited when im feeling terrible.. tot she's in class so nvr disturb her, but at ard 11+ she suddenly sms me only to say nites and thanks for the hoodie, nothing else....
-end of monday-

Today:
WA!!!~ EARLY MORNING NID GO LAVENDER JUST FOR A STUPID INTERVIEW!!! waste of time, but ok la... got a mon-fri job ^^ which means still got time go out with darling (provided she want to).
Then waste whole day playing shattered galaxy AND figuring out how to open .pdf files (adobe format which i didnt go google for some funny reason -_-), after i FINALLY open after like 2-3 hours of searching around (idk what i search also -_-, everything feels so blur) i finally downloaded adobe and fill in + send the contract over to the agency BUT they call me at ard 4+ saying that they still havent recieve it yet.. so nvm. i SEND again... -_- guess what? 6+ call again, say still ntn... and then when i ask for the email address again, they say its jobs@jobster.com.sg (they starting nvr say got the >>>.SG<<< lor -_-) then finally can le, but look ard then realise, eh? no map leh!! tmr hw i go work ;wild then suddenly rmb got the stupid pdf file -_-.
Opened the damn file liao then realise they only give address, nvr teach me hw to go... heng this time im smart enough to go google the address and go find it... then after found liao i go bath + shut down laptop (to let it rest as usual) then watch tv 1/2 hour and on back.. then went to audi to wait for darling again (which - she nvr online again) and while waiting hor... i win rp and bean wor~ ;make then after that i went to slp at ard 10, before i go sleep, i sms her but she only reply say she nt feeling well, then i asked how come? she nvr reply -_- (but i bet if im some1 else, she 100% reply de - o well, guess i need to give her more time ba) then i sms her again, ask her drink more water and rest more which she nvr reply also, so i go sleep.. and when im on bed -_- i feel freaking worried again!!! which idk why or what im worried about ;wild, toss and turn few rounds and decided to go online and see if she's on, but she isnt... D: so im here~ typing this blog, hoping that i can type my unknown worry away and hope she know how much i miss her...

Out of Point : im gonna change skin soon... and reformat the whole blog thingy... no more stupid song dl - who even download anything here before? -_- wow... long essay... but look at what i found :D

BEWARE!!!

YAY!!!~

After waiting for like.. 6 hours, the package finally came~ and i remove the fedex box for the long wait... ;eeks no pics for fedex ;eeks

recipt

ignore the wire pls -_-

top left~

bottom right~ <3

;sigh Insane Perf

Was feeling sad and depressed cos i cant play well, keep missing and cant do Fm and CFm so was really sad lor... till i got this chain... -_- Insane Perf

18/18

16/16

Think i use hack? look at more then...

22/22

look at his insane perf... -_- and score... anw, i still got all insane perf ;luv

and!!! observers now can practice and get 20 free den PER game!! all hail observers!!!